The trauma of losing a loved one is one of the most profound and challenging experiences a person can endure. Grief can take many forms and affect every aspect of life, often leaving people feeling overwhelmed, empty, and unsure of how to move forward. This kind of trauma can manifest as sadness, guilt, anger, or even physical symptoms, and it may ebb and flow in intensity.
However, grieving is not about “moving on” but rather about learning to live with loss. Over time, memories can bring comfort instead of pain, though the journey there may be long and winding.
Dr. Antoinette S. Jennings, a recipient of two White House Presidential Awards, author, and community activist, was raised with a strong network of support, which inspired her to dedicate her life to helping others. A proud mother of two beautiful children and a retired police officer, she is a woman deeply passionate about making a positive impact in her community
In this interview, Dr. Antoinette shares her fondest memories with the Oloyotunji and also how she was honored to claim her heritage, standing firm in her identity, and embracing the legacy of her ancestors.
Below are excerpts:
Losing a loved one can be one of the most challenging experiences in life. It often brings a mix of emotions—grief, confusion, and sometimes even relief, depending on the circumstances. Can you tell us how you got the news of the late Oba. Adejuyigbe Adefunmi II?
The day started off so beautifully. I was at work when I came across a flyer he had posted about being honored in Chicago this September. I sent it to his wife, telling her I wanted to surprise him since it was also my Baba’s birthday. She replied, mentioning that the Oba had been saying all weekend he needed to call me. He had hoped to attend my retirement ceremony, but with everything going on, he couldn’t make it. However, in two weeks, they were planning to visit. We shared a few laughs, and then I returned to work.
About two hours later, I received a text from an unknown number asking, “Sis, is the King okay?” I asked who it was and confirmed that, yes, he was fine. Then the person sent me a Facebook post, showing prayer hands alongside his picture. I thought maybe people were just showing love and support. But then, ten minutes later, another post came through, and something inside me suddenly froze. My heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, I wondered if something had happened to him. I tried to shake it off and decided to call him. There was no answer, so I called his wife instead.
When she picked up, she was hysterical, and I asked, “What’s wrong? Please, tell me what’s wrong.” Through her tears, she told me, “He’s gone.” I couldn’t process the words, so I hung up in disbelief. I immediately called someone else I’m close to, and they confirmed the heartbreaking news. In that moment, my world stopped. It felt like every bit of air left my body, and nothing made sense anymore.
Kindly share some of your fondest memories with the late. Oba Adefunmi Adejuyigbe and your last moment before his demise?
Oloyotuni has fondly called himself an amazing person; he wanted to bring his whole community he grew up with back to Oyotunji that was his goal. I saw that in his last days. I saw all the people coming back and being part of Oyotunji. I saw happiness in his eyes, something that I hadn’t seen before. I was so happy for him. He had worked years of trying to bring togetherness and unity. What I loved so much about him is he always showed up for us. Those who he grew up with. He wanted us all to succeed, and he can help us he would. He wasn’t a selfish person wanting to grow and build.
Oyotunji family circle is very big and accommodates many families who have ancestral links to Africans. can you tell us, while growing up, how did your upbringing shape the way you are raised?
Under the leadership of the first king, we were held to the highest standards, with an unwavering focus on excellence. We were taught how to survive and thrive in a world that often sought to hinder our progress as a people and a nation. As I reflect on my life, I am filled with gratitude for Oyotunji. It was there that I learnt the importance of self-worth, the belief that I could be or achieve anything I set my mind to. Most importantly, it was where I discovered who I truly am as a Black person in America—a proud African. I am honoured to claim my heritage, to stand firm in my identity, and to embrace the legacy of my ancestors.
What traditions did you learn and cherish, and which ones would you want to continue to uphold his legacy?
I’ve learnt the importance of always paying homage, giving back, and never leaving anyone behind. Together, we are stronger, and most importantly, we must always honor our ancestors for all they’ve done for.
Oyotunji life is quite different from the American way of life, what advice would you give me for navigating life’s challenges?
Trust in yourself and believe in the greater purpose that lies ahead. America is what you choose to make of it. You have the power to shape your own path and define who you want to become. We built this country, and we stand on the shoulders of greatness!
How did you find joy during difficult times, especially losing loved ones?
This is so hard; I never imagined this moment would come. I’ve known Oba Waja since we were children, and our bond went far beyond friendship. He was my nephew’s brother. Even without that family connection, we were deeply bonded. He always felt protected around me, and whenever he called, I was there. When he asked me to show up whenever he visited NYC, I was there because I believed in him and supported him. I promised him that when he became king, I would always be by his side. We had so many plans together, and now my heart is shattered because he won’t be here to see them come to fruition. But I will keep my word to him, no matter what.
What did he discussed with you about his legacies and developmental projects, and would you support the continuity?
As for his legacies and developmental projects, he was always focused on unity. He wanted to see people come together, and he had big dreams for Oyotunji to thrive because it truly is a land rich in culture. The Oba wanted us to be a beacon of love and acceptance, a place where people could reconnect with their roots. He envisioned Oyotunji as a sanctuary where anyone could come, be themselves, grow, and prosper. I will support the continuity of these efforts, as they were his vision and his gift to us all.
What was your proudest moment in life?
When I received my honorary degree, it was because of Oba Waja. He was the one who placed me in rooms with great leaders and spoke so highly of me, always proud of my accomplishments. I will never forget the doors he opened for me, but what I will cherish most is how he protected me. He kept me safe from so much. Years ago, he told me, “Silence will keep you out of nonsense,” and with that wisdom, we moved quietly, without drawing attention. He was always setting me up for greatness, because he knew my heart was loyal. For that, I will forever be grateful.
If you could relive one moment in your life, what would it be?
I wish I had spent more time with him in Oyotunji, been more present, and made an effort to be around him more.
What would you want us to remember about resilience?
Never give up. The world may be cold at times, but it can’t destroy you—only you have that power. Keep pushing forward, no matter what. And always remember, silence keeps you out of nonsense.
Share your tribute.
To one of the greatest souls to ever walk this earth, you came with boundless energy and love. I know the path of a King was often lonely, but you never gave up. You never abandoned the kingdom, and you never left us. I promise to keep your spirit alive in everything I do. Until we meet again, I will carry you in my heart always.
Dr. Antoinette S. Jennings (Ayo Akinwon)—forever your Yoyo!
Thanks for sharing with us.
Pleasure is mine. Many thanks to you. Adewale
DNM2024 #Oyotunji #AdefunmiLegacies #Tribute
